Poem - I Found Him There

by Rachel Guy

A person writing

I searched among this hurting world for the God that I was promised,
Wasn’t it his job to keep this people being honest?
Couldn’t he just stop them when wars and crimes began?
How could all this terror be a part of his great plan?

I thought that I would see him ride upon the storm,
cutting down the enemy, forcing some reform.
The world says he cannot exist if suffering does as well
The presence of one surely means the other cannot dwell?

And so it was that I began searching for a God.
Walking paths to worship where the pilgrims often trod.
I sat inside the church – the first place I should look
My heart said he was not just here or in the holy book.

His being in the church or world is not mutually exclusive
It turns out that our Saviour is not really that elusive.
I thought he would be in the church, that day, he was not there.
Though I felt his spirit near me as I talked to him through prayer.

My feet began to move, walking paths of dirt and fear,
Poverty, depravity, and cruelty were near.
Scenes of devastation met me on my way
My instinct was to turn around- I did not want to stay.
Confused I sat and wondered, how this could be so.
If God loved his children, surely he could stop the foe?

Suddenly like light aglow I grew in understanding
Defining my theology, my view of God expanding.
Though I did not expect it, the empty hallowed hall,
I found our Saviour, Jesus Christ, in the centre of the squall.

I found him in the shelters, with dirt streaks on his face.
He was there within the handshakes between strangers in that place.
He was present in the kitchens of those preparing food,
In the faces of the fathers in whom duty was imbued.

He was comforting the guilt of those soldiers doing wrong
He was there with the new mother singing with her in her song.
He was walking with the refugee the long road to the border.
Inspiring politicians in the efforts to keep order.

Perhaps you think it’s Godless, the world in your long searching.
Seeing all the suff’ring you’ve been crying of in your hurting.

You think he is not coming, but he is there already
The glue that holds together and the strength that keeps them steady.
He is evident in the kindness all around that you are seeing.
He is holding on to those who are struggling just being.

He is holding up the hands for whom Democracy is threatened
Drying eyes and wiping brows from blood, and tears and sweat and
Shedding tears for all his children who are calling for him now,
hoping they will see him in the ways he keeps this vow.

He is there in the strength they feel to walk that extra mile
The hope that fills their tired hearts though all around’s hostile.
He is there in the aching hands of volunteers who’ve travelled
As they hold in their embrace those whose lives have been unravelled.

His hands upon the backs of the soldiers who are scared
And the mothers and the partners, whose lives, for now, are spared.
His light is in the eyes of the children who are crying,
He lays beside the lonely who are wounded, hurt and dying.

I realise he’s everywhere a falling tear is shed,
Or a breath of prayer is whispered by a child within her bed.
He’s everywhere there’s suffering, hurt and devastation
He is always with us, as the works of his creation.

The suffering that happens does not mean that he is absent,
Only that we understand a tiny little fragment
Of his plan, and of this life and of all he knows is coming,
And because of this, we trust in him, who sees what we’re becoming.

And though some may refute it, this idea of deity
Existing in this fallen world where all people are not free,
I know that without him, I would not see him there,
In the suffering of others when their resources they share.

I would not see him present in the hands of those who aid,
Or in the eyes of families strong, though separate and afraid.
And who knows but the strength we feel when we walk alone
Is not him in his essence showing us that we are known,

To him, the one who made us and who sent us here to be
not his pawns, but sentient, with choice to make us free.
Choices to defend those whose freedom now is hunted
Choices to be brave enough for wrongs to be confronted
Choice for us to be to others what he is to us,
Loving, patient, kind and present, be forever thus.

And so I learned that day when I looked to him in sadness,
I would not find him there in the absence of the madness,
But in the epicentre of all that is distressing,
Because he is with us in the strength we are expressing.
He is truly with us, even when we feel we’re lost
Because, for us, his children, he paid the final cost.

Without all this suffering, the world that I can see,
Is one without the help and love that others give to me.
For if there was no hardship, no sorrow and no pain,
We need not reach out in love, or bear another’s strain.

So when you see destruction, and crippling unfairness
Go out and work in goodness showing this awareness.
God is far from absent in the lives of those we love.
I found him in the sadness when I thought he was above.